• Unified Vitality

The Importance of Touch - Victoria Redbard

Physical touch is vital for a babies sense of survival. As we grow older it continues to have an important place in our life. Our chances of recovering from illness are increased by physical touch. Depression is an on set from lack of touch. Touching ourselves can build our ability to be connected to ourselves.

When we connect to every inch of our body we can truly know ourselves inside and out.

In tantra the positive pole on a man is in his penis and the negative pole is in his heart. On a woman it is the opposite. The negative pole is in the vagina and the positive pole is in the heart. 

Unless adrenaline is running high in a women, it is very unlikely you’ll be able to go straight to the vagina and use friction based touch to stimulate it. It probably won’t be lubricated. Unlike a man where we head straight to the penis as the first stop if we want to begin arousing a male partner.

This is what is meant by positive and negative poles.

For a women we must first stimulate the positive pole. The heart space.

We can do this through words, tapping the heart space or even breast massage.

All of these activities connect us to our sense of wholeness.

The vagina also likes to be activated from the outside in.

The vagina never needs to be forced open by a finger or a penis.

It will open all on its own and welcome in penetration from a finger or penis if it is stimulated from from the outside. (I even recommend massaging the all the parts of your body before moving towards the erogenous zones.)

When it comes to the vagina, the outside labia (the flesh coloured lips) are an extension of the clitoris. Meaning they have the ability to engorge and fill with blood in the same way the tip of the clitoris can. When this area is filled with blood, it can get as hard as an erect penis. Once the outer labia has engorged (usually through soft, subtle touch) you can move onto the inner labia (the pink inner lips) and begin to bring a little firmer massage to this area.

At this stage you can feel the sense of wetness and whether the vagina wants to be entered.

When entering yourself (or being entered by another) pause on the entrance and wait for the vagina to gently call in the finger. 

This subtle, slow touch can open the vagina to more depth and more pleasure. By including the whole body in the process of awakening many of my clients have experienced direct guidance and wisdom from their higher self. Giving them clarity and direction in their lives. 

For this reason, be sure to set an intention or ask for guidance on areas you are unsure about in your life.

The vagina always knows.

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Victoria Redbard Victoria is a counsellor, speaker, author, researcher, open relating expert and fonder of The Institute of New Paradigm Intimacy. She has studied tantra and sexuality in many countries and now resides in the Gold Coast Australia.

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